LIAM Picken’s six sausage rolls at Cazaly’s Stadium a couple of weekends ago felt like the biggest thing to happen in Cairns since the birth of the great Christine Anu.
While it’s nice to see a little fella snare a goalkicking record off a big fella – the big fella in question being Jack Riewoldt – Picken’s record six goals at Cazaly’s pales in comparison to the records at some of our other fine grounds.
Granted, only seven games have ever been played in Cairns so there’s plenty of time for a double-figure effort at Cazaly’s to grace the hallowed pages of the AFL record, but some of the following records are ridiculous.
And others are ridiculous for the fact that we’re paying them any attention at all.
MELBOURNE CRICKET GROUND
14: Gary Ablett Sr (1989, 1993); John Longmire (1990)
— AH, footy in the 1990s. What a time to be falling in love with the game. While it was common to see the likes of Ablett, Dunstall and Lockett kick bags on any given day, we also saw dark horses like current Swans coach John Longmire unleash.
Longmire’s 14 came on a day when North Melbourne kicked a ridiculous 31.14.200 to Melbourne’s 10.13.73. The tally also contributed 14.2% of all of Longmire’s goals that year, snagging him the Coleman Medal.
Ablett, not satisfied with his 14 against Richmond in 1989 that led to a 32.19.211 to 10.17.77 victory, decided to do it again in 1993 in a game that’s remembered as being a shootout with Essendon’s Paul Salmon, who kicked 10.
Unfortunately for Cats fan, Gazza’s 14-goal haul wasn’t enough for victory, with Geelong losing by 24 points.
13: Harry Davie (1925)
— DESPITE 962 of the 1277 games played at Princes Park involving Carlton, the goals in a game record is held by a Demon.
Harry Davie only played 58 career games, but he finished with 186 goals, including his bag of 13 against the Blues in 1925.
17: Gordon Coventry (1930)
— IT wouldn’t be right if the Victoria Park record was held by a non-Magpie.
Gordon Coventry, one of just five players to kick more than 1000 career goals, notched his 17 against Fitzroy in 1930. Not only did “Nuts” outscore Fitzroy (13.16.94), he also outperformed the rest of his team, who could only put up another 8 goals on top of his bag.
12: Mark LeCras (2010)
— ODDLY enough, four current West Coast Eagles players hold the goals record at four different grounds.
While a couple of them are more luck than anything else, LeCras’ 12 against the Bombers in 2010 was a pure display of small forward prowess.
Kicking 12.2 from 22 disposals, LeCras became just the fourth player to kick 10 or more goals under the roof, after Matthew Lloyd (twice), Fraser Gehrig and Stephen Milne.
18: Fred Fanning (1947)
— A RECORD that may never be broken, Fred Fanning’s 18 big ones has stood as the most goals kicked in any VFL/AFL game for 70 years.
Bizarrely, the record came in Fanning’s last ever VFL match, a game his Demons won by 93 points over St Kilda.
We get the feeling his midfielders might have been feeding him the ball as a final farewell gift.
17: Jason Dunstall (1992)
— WHEN we say Fanning’s record will probably never be broken, we mean it’s because Dunstall and Lockett retired.
Dunstall’s 17 goals came against whipping boys Richmond in a 25.22.172 to 14.9.93 victory. Kicking 6 goals in the first quarter, 5 in the second, 2 in the third, and 4 in the last, Dunstall finished the game being triple-teamed by the Tigers defenders.
When the two teams met again later in the year, the Tigers had learnt their lesson, only allowing the bulky full-forward to kick 12.
15: Bob Pratt (1934)
— PRATT’S 15 goal haul at the old Lake Oval against Essendon in 1934 was crucial in the Bloods full-forward setting the record for most goals in a season.
Finishing up with 150 for the year, Hawthorn’s Peter Hudson is the only man to match that record, with his own 150 goal effort in 1971.
16: Tony Lockett (1995)
— THE league’s greatest goal kicker is also the only player to hold three records at three separate grounds.
Plugger’s 16 for Sydney against Fitzroy could have been more, too, but he was stuck on the bench late in the game thanks to a communication breakdown.
Almost more impressive than the 16 snags was the fact that Lockett didn’t miss a shot, the only 13-goals or more performance where no behinds were scored.
13: Doug Wade (1971)
— OF the 24 goals Geelong scored in Round 20, 1971, against North Melbourne, two blokes snagged 20 of them.
While 1000-goal legend Doug Wade kicked 13 – one of four times he kicked 10 or more – Bill Ryan was right next to him with 7 goals of his own.
The other goal scorers that day were David Clarke (father of David Jr and director of the Pyramid Building Society), Bill Goggin (uncle of PGA golfer Matthew and former club coach), and Rod Stokes (a 10-gamer whose only career goal was this one).
14: John Coleman (1954)
— JOINING Gary Ablett and Tony Lockett as the only players to hold a record at multiple grounds, Coleman played just 45 games at Windy Hill but managed to kick 10+ goals in seven of those matches.
His 14 came against Fitzroy in a 91-point victory for the Bombers.
BRUNSWICK STREET OVAL
12: Bob Merrick (1919)
— LIKE Harry Davie, Bob Merrick’s career was short but spectacular.
Playing just 59 career games, the Fitzroy forward finished with 181 goals, including this 12-goal haul in a 125-point victory over Melbourne.
Merrick’s total is the equal-most goals kicked by a Fitzroy player in a game.
14: Doug Strang (1931)
— WHILE Fred Fanning’s 18-goal record was his final game, Doug Strang’s 14-goals – a Richmond and Punt Road record – came in just his second game for the club.
The 168-point win over North Melbourne was one of two times Strang would kick 10 or more goals, finishing his career after just 64 games and 180 career goals.
11: Josh Kennedy (2014)
— THE second of four current Eagles to hold a record, Kennedy’s 11-straight against the Giants came in a 111-point victory, the Giants 11th-worst loss in history.
It also happened on the 11th of May, and the Eagles had 11 goals at half time.
12: Jack Moriarty (1928)
— SHARING the Fitzroy goals in a game record with Bob Merrick, Sherlock Holmes’ arch-nemesis (almost) kicked 12 goals in a game that his team only scored a total of 15.
One of the other goal scorers that day was Charlie Chaplin (really) in a 46-point victory over the Kangaroos.
13: Tony Modra (1993, 1994)
— IT’S easy to forget about Modra when you talk about Ablett, Lockett and Dunstall in the 90s, but what he achieved during his time at Adelaide in particular is outstanding.
With 588 goals from 165 games, his 3.56 goals per game average rates him as one of the greatest to ever play the game.
Twice kicking 13 at Footy Park, Modra’s first haul came in a 139-point shellacking of Richmond, who must have been playing an inanimate carbon rod at full-back given their record against full-forwards in the early 90s.
16: Peter Hudson (1969)
— THE greatest goal kicker ever based on average goals per game, Hudson’s 16 at Glenferrie didn’t come in the season he matched Bob Pratt’s record.
It came two seasons before, right in the middle of four straight seasons of 100+ goals.
Unlike other big bags, this one came in a game that was relatively close, with the Hawks beating Melbourne by 32 points.
SYDNEY CRICKET GROUND
14: Gary Ablett Sr (1994)
— WHILE most would assume Tony Lockett holds the record at the SCG given he kicked 10+ goals on six occasions, Ablett’s 14 came in a 94-point belting of the Swans.
12: George Moloney (1931)
— A STAR Geelong spearhead before they became all the rage, Moloney kicked 10+ goals in three games at Corio Oval in a career that saw a total of 88 games and 303 goals.
11: Billy Brownless (1991)
— THE. Goddamn. 90s. Billy’s 11 goals in a 102-point win over the bad news Bears was the first time ever that a player kicked 10+ goals at the Gabba.
Since then, only three players have gone close to matching it, with Lockett (1991), Dunstall (1993), and Jonathan Brown (2007) kicking 10.
15: Tony Lockett (1992)
— PLUGGER owned Moorabbin, snagging 10+ goals on seven occasions from 62 games.
These 15 came against his future side Sydney in a 53-point win for the Saints.
EAST MELBOURNE CRICKET OVAL
7: Dick Lee, Otto Landmann, Fred Parkinson (1908); Ernie Lumsden (1914), Col Laidlaw (1919)
— ONE of the lower records, and it’s not for lack of games. The East Melbourne Cricket Ground, with sat north-west of where the MCG is, hosted 225 games from 1897 to 1921.
It just seems people didn’t like kicking goals there.
13: Peter Daicos (1991)
— THE 1990s deliver again, this time with the Macedonian Marvel snagging 11 for the Pies in a 101-point win over the Bears.
The last of the grounds in this list to have hosted more than 100 games, just four players have scored 10+ goals on the Gold Coast, including Simon Beasley (1987), Dunstall (1987), and Ablett (1988).
8: Jay Schulz (2014)
— THE likes of Tex and Eddie have been hampered by each other in the quest to break Schulz’s 8-goal record.
Scored in a 72-point drubbing of the Bulldogs, Schulz was dominant, adding 22 disposals and 14 marks.
14: Scott Cummings (2000)
— SCORED in the final season of the WACA’s use as an AFL ground, Cummings joined Salmon (1987) and Peter Sumich (1991) as the only players to kick 10+ at the ground.
The big fella scored 10+ goals twice in his career, with his follow-up performance coming just two rounds after this 114-point thumping of the Crows.
13: Lance Franklin (2012)
— “THIRTEEN! Thirteeeennnnn!”. Anthony Hudson’s commentary of the moment Buddy kicked his bag is almost as memorable as the performance itself.
The 115-point win over North Melbourne is the only time Franklin has kicked 10+, which actually surprises us a bit.
6: David Neitz (2004); Barry Hall (2004, 2005, 2006); Michael O’Loughlin (2008); Steve Johnson (2010); Travis Cloke (2011); Kurt Tippett (2013)
— NOTHING to see here really. As well as being a bit of a dog of a stadium, the six goals in a game record held by six different players at Stadium Australia is the lowest for grounds that have hosted 50 games or more.
11: Jack Riewoldt (2014)
— WHILE Jack lost his record in Cairns to Picken, he still holds this 11-goal haul against the Giants in 2014.
The record is even more impressive for the fact Riewoldt kicked them all in the first three quarters, after being held to just two behinds in the final stanza.
7: Stewart Loewe (2001)
— STEWIE Loewe’s record is even more impressive for the fact the Saints lost this game against North Melbourne comfortably. By 49 points, to be exact.
North had 11 goalkickers on the day, with Corey McKernan’s four goals leading the way.
5: Brendan Fevola (2005); Brad Johnson (2007); Brad Miller (2010); Paul Stewart (2012); Jack Darling (2015)
— ANOTHER one that you wouldn’t write home about, but we have to say Paul Stewart seems like the odd man out on the list.
Playing 101 games in his career, Stewart only kicked a total of 33 goals, meaning 15% of all the goals he ever kicked came in the one game.
6: Brent Harvey (2016); Jarrad Waite (2017)
— NO surprises that this record is held by Kangaroos players, given they’ve played in all 15 games held at Bellerive.
Interestingly enough, despite Harvey holding the league games record, he only played nine games in Hobart, booting 25 goals along the way.
8: Dudley Probyn (1942)
— THESE are the grounds we love at The Hickey Stand. Toorak Park was one of several grounds that hosted a handful of league games during World War II, with the regular venues taken over by the army.
Mostly used as a base for St Kilda with Junction Oval out of the mix, Saints forward Dudley Probyn’s eight goals came against North Melbourne in a 73-point victory.
Probyn only played nine games of VFL, playing only the 1942 season before calling it quits.
6: Frank Goode (1965)
— UNLIKE other barely used grounds, Coburg Oval was meant to be the long-term home of North Melbourne when the Kangaroos got jack of Arden Street.
The plan only lasted nine games, with North winning only three of them.
Frank Goode did his part in trying to even the win-loss ledger, booting 24 goals from his nine matches at Coburg, in a career that saw 73 games and 107 goals.
6: Liam Picken (2017)
— THE newest record holder on the list, Picken has the opportunity to become one of the few dual-record holders when the Bulldogs play in the inaugural Ballarat match in Round 22.
7: Norm Ware (1942)
— ANOTHER ground used only in war time, Yarraville was home to seven Footscray games in 1942 with Western Oval out of action.
Ware, who kicked 220 goals in 200 games, had a bit of a love affair with the ground, booting 29 majors from his seven games there.
8: Tony Lockett (1991)
— FITZROY was one of the first teams to sell home games. They just didn’t do it overly well.
Legend has it that the Lions were so poor when took games to North Hobart, they were forced to billet players to the homes of local Fitzroy supporters.
The experiment only lasted five games, giving Plugger Lockett just enough time to boot eight goals for the Saints in his only game in Tasmania, a 13-point win over the Lions.
5: Charlie Dixon (2016); Jeff Garlett (2017)
— ONLY four games have ever been held in Alice Springs, so there’s plenty of time for this record to tumble.
5: Lachie Henderson (2015)
— IF we asked you to guess which Geelong defender holds a goal-kicking record at a venue, there’s every chance you said Tom Lonergan or Harry Taylor.
Henderson’s five goals came for the Blues against the Saints in the last match held in Wellington, an international experiment that only lasted three matches.
8: George Margitich (1932)
— OUR favourite little known ground ever used, Motordrome – at Olympic Park – was used for three games in 1932, all of which featured Melbourne.
George Margitich’s 8 goals came against Geelong in a match that Melbourne lost by 38 points. For the Cats, a bloke named Bill Khulken snagged six, while the aforementioned George Moloney booted five.
3: Brendon Ah Chee (2017)
— THE China experiment. Will we ever see it again? I’m sure Kochie will tell us for 11 months straight about how good of an idea it is.
5: Luke Shuey (2012)
— WITH Kennedy, Darling and LeCras, Luke Shuey rounds out the four current Eagles who hold a venue goal-kicking record.
The record came in an 81-point victory over the freshly minted GWS Giants.
3: Jeff Bruce, John McCarthy, Jason Ball (1995)
— WE love that a bloke with the surname Bruce holds the record for most goals at Bruce Stadium.
The Canberra venue was used once in 1995 for a game between Fitzroy and West Coast, before Manuka became the go to ground in the nation’s capital for AFL.
BRISBANE EXHIBITION GROUND
13: John Coleman (1952)
— NOW used mostly for the Queenslander rite of passage “The Ekka”, the Brisbane Exhibition Ground was one of four grounds used for a “let’s take the footy to some ridiculous places” round in 1952.
The match – a 62-point victory for Essendon over Geelong – was most notable for John Coleman kicking a ridiculous 13 goals. He was one hell of a full-forward. They should name a medal after him.
Also worth noting is that the Exhibition Ground saw the Test debut of little known NSW batsman Sir Donald Bradman.
8: Jack Howell (1952)
— THE second of four odd grounds used in that 1952 round, Euroa hosted Carlton and Hawthorn in a 37-point win for the Blues.
Carlton’s Jack Howell booted eight goals, one of two times that the forward would do so in a career of 137 games and 246 goals.
2: Ted Whitten Sr, Jack McDonald (1952)
— THE record itself isn’t that notable, but it is one record that absolutely 100% will never be broken.
Footscray and St Kilda’s match at the ground will most certainly be the only one ever played, because both the oval and the town that it belonged to no longer exist, torn down to make way for extended mining operations in 1983.
4: Paddy Deagan, Gordon Lane (1952)
— THE final ridiculous ground used for that ridiculous round in 1952, Albury hosted North and South Melbourne, a game which the Swans won by 22 points thanks to four goal hauls to both Deagan and Lane.